The Wonderful Embrace of Comfort Zone (and Why It’s Sometimes Nice to Step Out of It)
This year I have decided to not do any new year’s resolutions. Not that I don’t have anything that I would change, but rather than failing to achieve them and be disappointed in myself, I settle with doing what I have to do the best way I am able to do it. Nonetheless, I have made an oath to myself to up my writing game this year (at least, to frequently post something here so that everyone actually sees my work) and have decided to be more active in following the writing prompts from Medium.
The topic that I want to tackle this time is: Favorite Least-Favorite.
Rather than from the perspective of procrastinating — which I often do for certain activities, I am writing this from the eyes of “something that I really don’t like to do, but when I actually do it, it feels nice.” I re-called from the many of things that would make me feel that way and decided to write about comfort zones, and why is it good to abandon it, sometimes.
Comfort zone can be a place, situation, even a person, that makes you stress-free. In this area, you can be your utmost true self. You know the territory inside out so you will always feel in control. You hear wonderful talks of “the great beyond” (of comfort zone) but is always skeptical of what’s in store.
You might think, “It’s called comfort zone for a reason, why would you leave and explore the unknown and uncertain?”
I used to have that thought as well, me in my own comfortable ship. But the further I sail in this big sea called life, I realized being comfortable won’t let me stay afloat for the rest of the journey. I can’t always choose the calm sea because sooner or later I have to face a thunderstorm or shark invested seas. And no, it doesn’t mean that I have to continuously look for dangerous territory my whole life (except for the risk-takers, do what you do!). Trying on the uncomfortable mantle makes you grow. You’ll get opportunities, ones that are obvious and ones that are hidden. In the end, you’ll know yourself better — your abilities and limitations.
Take as an example: I am an introvert. No, it’s not because I’m shy (not all introverts are shy, by the way) and it’s not because I don’t like company (I sometimes do, depends on who the company is). It has to do with how I choose to recharge my energy after a hard work or intense discussions. I would trade a night out frolicking with people with a night in — a wholesome dinner, watching my favorite TV show or reading my favorite book, and end it with a nice face mask before going to bed — any day. Suddenly, one day I chose to not resign for the night and hung out with people that I am not quite yet familiar with. I was so worried the night would be dreadful. What would we talk about? Would the energy level stay high throughout the night? Was I going to be the party pooper by leaving early?
Instead, I put those thinking aside and wing it — let’s socialize.
One hour in and I was so invested in the atmosphere. I just tried to chip in one or two comments and let the conversation flow. Laughter and serious thoughts were exchanged, and I enjoyed every minute of it. Funny how that did not turn out so bad. I ended up coming home past midnight, falling asleep right after, feeling content with the interaction I had.
Now, would I do it more often? No. But these days I try to decline less invitations for hanging out (sadly this is quite unfitting with the current pandemic situation). Even though I gain energy from being on my own, surrounding myself with people can also give a boost of serotonin.
Another example is being noticed by people. Hear me out, I like attention. I like when people notice me for my work. However, I always have this thought in my head that people are out to get to me even when I am in the slightest bit of wrong (this paranoia may actually make sense in the culture we are now). Because of this sometimes I feel there were so many missed opportunities just because I chose to not stand out. Just because I didn’t want to have so many eyes on me, waiting for my downfall. So, rather than being hunted down, I chose silence. It came to the extent I liked non-existent a lot more than being perceived. Little by little, I try to get myself out there more often. Faking the confidence I have so people would notice me and what I am capable of.
One day it suddenly hit me: not everyone is out there to get you. Heck, not many people actually care!
This is actually a good revelation for me because all this time I had it all inside my head. The fear and the worry: they’re just an illusion. With each time I present myself, the doubts turned into assurance. What I have done is good, it is okay even if I make mistakes.
Have I become fond of it? Well, if I have to choose I would still prefer staying in the background. However, concealing myself and my talent from the public would stray me further from what I have always wanted to do in this world, and that is to inspire people. And how can I inspire people if I don’t let them see me?
It is still a struggle. On some days when I don’t feel like I’m up for the challenge, I just snuggle back in to my comfort zone. Then, taking into account the growth I have gone through by challenging myself, it motivated me to keep trying. I still hate the feeling when I step out. I hesitate from time to time. But then I stuffed those worries inside a bag and tie them up. Later on when I’m done travelling to the outskirts of my comfort area, I open it and read them — snickering at how silly I was for almost not trying what could have been the best experience of my life.
