The one that hurts the most, learns the most.
Happiness.
Such a nice emotion. In that moment you’ll feel like you are on top of the world. You can conquer everything. The world is your oyster, as they say. Maybe that’s the reason people are striving to be happy, in whatever perspective that may be.
Getting a quick fix of happiness is easy. For the people that like materialistic things, happiness can simply be a purchase away. Nothing beats the feeling of acquiring a new item. Especially if you have been saving up for it. Finally obtaining it makes all that anticipation worth it.
Then, there are people that find joy in connecting with others. Hanging out with them, exchanging conversations — be it superficial or deep talks. Sharing stories and laughters is where it’s all at. We humans are social creatures after all. No matter how much some prefer to stay indoor and read a book, they’d still need a bit of human interaction to not go insane. We need them, and they need us. The list for happiness goes on: winning an award, going outside on a sunny day, falling in love, and so much other triggers of happiness.
However, being happy tend to make humans lack reflection. Happiness rarely last. When the feeling starts to die down, it’s time to get another dose. It’s like a drug — you fixate on happiness and it drowns out the other emotions. This constant need to search prevent us from standing still and ask ourselves: do we actually take something from being happy?
In fact, sad and pain teach us a lot more. I’m not saying we should pursue sadness, pain, and all things that are negative in life instead of happiness. I’m not here to rally on “pursuit of misery” instead of “pursuit of happiness”.
Having to experience some ups and downs in my life so far, I can conclude many of my heartbreaking moments taught me how to develop as an individual. They were not pleasant experiences, but they made me who I am today (I’d like to think myself as someone who is amiable). In a sense, these sadness are similar to failures — you bound to do them someday. From those failures, you understand where you went wrong and you can avoid doing the same mistake.
Now, what happens if the pain was caused by someone else? You cannot exactly avoid people from hurting you. It is to say getting hurt at least once in your life is inevitable. Human connection may bring along betrayal, loss, estrangement, and many other things. Well, technically you can avoid having connections with people. However, going back to that statement of human beings are social creatures, it emphasizes our need of each other. No matter the context is. Eventually if processed well enough, it will make you mature emotionally.
Why is that good? I personally think it’s best to have more emotionally mature people in this world. Being emotionally mature means more than just knowing how to not hurt other people. It prevents us from being numb. Understanding people better, have empathy. Less petty conflicts in this world and more room to grow.
It also teaches you how to process what is happening to you. Knowing when to stop associating with people when they do not serve you anymore — people that only bring you down. That’s when you know you need to cut ties, no matter who they are. And if you did hurt someone, it helps you understand what you did wrong and communicate. If you wish to have this person in your life still, you know how to do that properly. Controlling the parts that you can control: yourself.
Essentially, getting hurt makes you stronger. There is so much more to learn from being sad. Don’t seek it on purpose, but when you do feel that emotion, savor it. Learn from it. Process everything and come out as a better person. Then you can relay that to another person, and that person to another person. Like a chain of kindness but instead it’s a chain of emotionally mature communication. Won’t that be a nice world to live in?
